Evaporating Into Oblivion
by dream-2me
Summary: A collection of stories revolving around Edward and Bella's summer after Twilight and before New Moon. Each chapter title is named after an inspirational song, each chapter retold from Bella and Edward POVs
1. Chapter 1

"…_the happiest summer I've ever had, the happiest summer _anyone anywhere_ had ever had." – Bella, New Moon_

* * *

For Blue Skies

I didn't have many dreams or nightmares these days; every night was as good as a dream, as far from a nightmare as possible.

Edward spent the night every night; watching me sleep and listening to me mumble unintelligible things. I wasn't very self-conscious when Edward watched me, not like I used to be. It was so routine that the only thing I worried much about anymore was my mortality. He avoiding talking about it as much as possible and I became tired of trying to rouse an argument.

I decided that it was summer and I was going to enjoy myself. I tried not worrying about it, even if my clock would never stop ticking while Edward's was forever idle. I knew Edward wanted me to not think about it either, not just because it was a fight neither of us could win, but because he was scared our time wouldn't last. Each day was precious and he tried to make the most of it.

The clock's alarm went off every month, though, reminding me that time was passing. I'd tried to silence it on my own but it was impossible. Being with Edward was the only thing that could dim the perpetual ticking.

It was a warm day in Forks and I could tell we both wanted to spend it outside. Usual rainy days didn't keep us inside but they severely affected the things that would be considered fun. Last week was finals and we mainly relaxed indoors. Well, _I_ needed some time to relax after finals, but Edward came out unscathed. Today, though, I didn't know what he had planned.

"Did you pack _everything_ from Phoenix?" Edward asked nonchalantly, flipping through a stack of my CDs.

"What do you mean?" Where this could be going, I had no idea.

"Well, Alice said it would be one of the warmest days today and I was hoping you would like to go swimming with me."

My heart started to thud loudly. I sat on my computer chair, typing an email to Renee about school ending, while Edward lay on my bed. He was feet away but I still felt the force of his gaze as our eyes met.

Edward was smoldering me with his honey warm eyes, exactly what he did when he was trying to be persuasive. I looked away from his eyes and tried to comprehend what he was really asking.

"What?" I choked.

"Swimming, Bella. We could go down to the beach, the water should be nice." I turned my eyes toward his face, taken aback. He continued on when I didn't respond.

"You know, we don't even have to swim. We can just, go."

I tried hard to respond rationally. Me, in one of the most revealing articles of clothing, with Edward.

I just decided to lie.

"I, I don't have a suit. So… I don't know." My voice trailed off. He snorted and I looked up to glare into his eyes. He had to know I was lying.

He laughed heartily at my angry expression. Sliding off the bed he walked over to me and scooped me into his arms. I had no idea what he was doing, but it soon became clear. His lips pressed softly to mine. The kiss was longer than usual. When I had to breathe I would pull away and suck in the sweet scent of his breath. It was a cycle, the more I breathed the more I would inhale his scent, and the more I would need to kiss him, only to be breathless once again.

He set me down and pulled my face away, looking into my eyes. Without his scent circling my head I could slightly concentrate. He was trying to get what he wanted. Before he spoke I looked away, afraid that he if bore his eyes into mine that my flimsy charade would collapse.

"Bella" he sighed, a smile on his lips.

"Edward, I can't." I decided to just be done with it. Each second inside was a waste of a beautiful, warm day.

"What do you mean? We can do whatever you want today, I just thought since it was so nice out…"

"No. I mean, I knew what you meant. It's a good idea and all, but I…" how could I tell him? He would just laugh and call me "absurd" in his beautiful, mocking voice. He would never understand the ping of jealously, the impossible range between our appearances. His beauty, my normality.

"You're expressions are killing me, Bella. Please tell me what you're thinking."

"Can't you tell?" I looked him up and down, and then looked at myself. He understood immediately. It was his reaction that shocked me, though. His face was pained, his brows pulled down in despair.

"I'm sorry. I can't help feeling jealous, embarrassed... displaced."

"Jealous?" He whispered. His pain was projecting onto me. I had no idea why he should feel this way. I'd expected it to be me the one to feel pained while he would have brushed off the remark.

He sat on my bed in a human like way, resting his hands on either side of him. I followed, nudging myself into his side.

"I'm more jealous than you can ever know" he mumbled. Edward turned his head in my direction to talk over his shoulder.

"Bella, I can't even explain. It's…"

"It's fine. I'm sorry I mentioned anything. We're wasting the day…" The words rushed out in attempt stop his aching. His face transformed from tormented to confused.

"Ugh, let's just go to the beach."

His smile lit up the room. It made me dismiss my earlier frustration. It seemed to melt away along with my heart.

"Are you sure?"

"C'mon before I change my mind. It won't be like this forever." I rolled my eyes and turned away to go dig up my ancient swim suit. I noticed the abrupt look on Edward's face as I said that, that is, if I wasn't making it up. It was more pained than before but when I turned around his face was composed into a content mask.

I was referring to the weather, but I suddenly saw the double meaning.

"Edward, can I change?"

"Of course. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes, okay?" He kissed my hair lightly before leaving the room, giving me one last smile before the door closed.

It was stupid to have asked that of him. Once he was gone the truth of my words overcame me. I waited till his car was no longer visible before I let go. Tears streamed silently down my face as I carried my suit and bag of toiletries to the bathroom.

After getting everything together, pulling on a pair of shorts and throwing a shirt over my suit, I started to calm. I didn't want to waste anytime with Edward crying but, even though I promised myself I wouldn't, it was a hard promise to keep.

As I glanced out my window everything swiftly turned a thousand times better. Edward was parked, waiting patiently in the driveway for me. I felt so stupid for everything I did, as if I couldn't understand why I would do such things. I'd wasted time indoors when we could have been outside together, swimming in the cool water. My heart picked up at the thought of him in swim trunks. I blushed as I took the stairs by two.

In the back of my mind I knew my earlier feelings were valid. This high I experienced now only clouded my rational side. They would surface eventually and I would have to fight them down again, reminding myself for the millionth time that Edward was here, and that's all that mattered.

As I walked out the door the heat shocked me. I'd never remembered it being _this_ nice in Forks. A smile came natural to my lips as Edward beamed at me from the Volvo. He watched me as I got into the car, all previous insecurities vanished.

"Ready?" He asked, excitement hidden in his voice.

"Always" I chimed, gazing back at him with equal excitement.


	2. Chapter 2

That Home

I was smiling as I looked at some of Bella's music collection. It was small, but she was young, naïve to some of the finest, most dulcet pieces. In those 17 years though, she gathered some of my favorites. Bella would never cease to amaze me.

She sat at her computer toying with the keyboard, trying to write back to her mother. The breeze was warm through her open window, the sun hidden by thin clouds. The heat of today seemed to make her blood boil, warming it to its prime- that is, if it could be any better. My muscles were coiled more than usual, stuck in this small, muggy room with her scent whirling around my head.

I thought came back into mind then, one that I'd been envisioning ever since Alice first predicted it.

"Did you pack _everything_ from Phoenix?" I tried to sound casual, my nerves subdued.

"What do mean?" Bella asked, wary.

I tried to think of the best way to word it. "Well, Alice said it would be one of the warmest days today and I was hoping you would like to go swimming with me."

Bella turned to me, confusion plastered all over her face. As our eyes met her expression started to soften, just like I felt my own doing. Would this feeling ever stop? This lightening when I looked into her warm eyes, running through my veins, swelling my dead, cold heart? I was certain it never would.

We were inseparable, or at least, I was inseparable from her-I couldn't speak for Bella, but she never protested my presence- for the past five months. Five months was a short time, _I_ would know, but I felt as if Bella had been with me since the first day of my life. Because, truthfully, my life did not start until she arrived.

Her warm brown eyes, deep as an ocean, with wonders of life and mysteries that I would never fully know, held my gaze. My revere was broken when she turned her head only seconds later. I was fully convinced that time stopped when we were together, for I truly wished it could.

"What?"

"Swimming, Bella. We could go down to the beach, the water should be nice." She looked back at me, puzzled and wordless.

"You know, we don't even have to swim. We can just, go." Did she think I was asking too much? She looked back at me as if I were mental. _Was_ I asking too much? If only she could let me read her thoughts- like that was even possible.

"I, I don't have a suit. So… I don't know." I couldn't help get a kick out of her attempt at lying. She was too good to tell even a little white lie.

She turned to glower at me, an angry blush spreading over her face, filling the room even more with the heat of her blood. Ignoring the flare in my throat I let out a snicker. She was lovely, even while enraged. I pushed off the bed, walking over to her, our eyes connected all the while.

Her expression lightened as I picked her up easily from the chair, her arms impulsively wrapping around my neck. I was still careful- more than usual even- through the long kiss. The warm wind blew her hair around my face, her scent straight into my nostrils. I didn't want to stop- I never wanted to stop- but I set her down lightly, pulling away from her soft lips.

Her eyes looked eager as I gazed into them, unable to look away. She broke the connection quickly, to my dismay. A blush covered her cheeks again and I knew why. She once told me how persuasive she thought I was which was extremely silly. If she wanted she could look into my eyes and ask anything of me- I would oblige. _Almost_ anything.

"Bella," I couldn't stand her looking away much longer.

"Edward, I can't." I understood the reason that an ordinary person would have, but Bella was not ordinary. She was so, so much more.

"What do you mean? We can do whatever you want today, I just thought since it was so nice out…"

"No. I mean, I knew what you meant. It's a good idea and all, but I…" She paused, struggling for words. Her mental silence was infuriating.

"You're expressions are killing me, Bella. Please, tell me what you're thinking."

"Can't you tell?" Her eyes passed over my body, from my feet to my waist, coming to a stop at my face. It sent a thrill through my body. She then gestured to herself, standing in front of me, her innocent beauty more than I thought I could bear.

As she looked up it hit me. A face I'd seen her make more times than I ever wished to. Jealous, pained. My eyes then mirrored hers.

"I'm sorry. I can't help feeling jealous, embarrassed... displaced" she mumbled.

"Jealous?" was all I could manage to say. I wished she could understand, but I knew it would pain her- the last thing I would ever do. I could see that I had already, though. Our eyes mirrored each others once again, my pain becoming hers.

I sat on her bed, trying to bring my ache away from her. But she followed, carving herself into my side, her ease of closeness adding to the jealously.

"I'm more jealous than you can ever know." Her eyes looked less pained when I turned to her, confusion speckled across her expression. I felt like she deserved to know the truth, why I was hurting her like this.

"Bella, I can't even explain. It's…" _Terrifying. To know I could kill you so easily, while you wrap your arms around me with the strength of your love. To know that if I did the same I would crush your bones to dust, your life extinguished before my eyes. Both our lives extinguished…_

"It's fine. I'm sorry I mentioned anything. We're wasting the day…" It seemed like she spit the words out. I needed clear confirmation before I would allow my hopes to rise. I waited.

"Ugh, let's just go to the beach."

I couldn't help smiling, forgetting everything that troubled me moments ago. Her mood shifted with mine, now joyous. I had to be certain.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"C'mon before I change my mind. It won't be like this forever" she said as she got up from the bed. I knew what she meant, but my mind snapped to the familiar, miserable place it often when we were apart, even momentarily. _No, Bella, it wouldn't be like this forever._

I recomposed my face, remembering the eagerness from a half second ago. She glanced back and I felt as if she saw through me completely.

"Edward, can I change?"

"Of course. I'll pick you up in 10 minutes, okay?" I kissed her hair lightly, breathing in deep, keeping her sweet scent in my lungs as I left. Her words started to echo in my mind, haunting me every step I took to further the distance between us.

"_Edward!_" Alice chimed, her thoughts reaching me before I was close enough to see the house.

I couldn't help a small smile from breaking through my lips. It was easier to forget the pain from minutes ago with Alice around._ And with the vision of Bella and me on the beach, in the warm, moist air, her hair tousled around her face in the wind, her skin soft as silk…_

I went up the porch stairs already sure that Alice was waiting excitedly.

"_You're going to have _so_ much fun! It'll be nice the rest of the day and Bella will look so_-" I cut off her train of thought.

"Alice, I _adore_ your help, always. But do you think I can find this one out for myself?" I teased; nudging her arm as she turned to follow me into the house.

She stepped on the back of my shoe as I walked over the threshold. I turned around, just quick enough, to ruffle up her hair. She stuck her tongue out, her spiky hair still pointing in every direction.

"You just wait" I threatened, a laugh in my voice.

"I'll keep an eye out for you."

Jasper walked into the room, a book in one hand, twiddling a pen in the other. Alice punched my shoulder playfully, harder than it seemed physically possible, before running over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He smiled, looking down at her with pure adoration.

Bella's face clouded my mind as I watched Jasper and Alice stare deep into each others eyes. Excitement bustled through me as I dashed up the steps with only two bounds. I grabbed what I needed from my room before sprinting back to the Volvo, Alice calling goodbye over the purr of the engine.

It had only been five minutes, but I thought some time to sit and calm down was precisely what I needed.

I turned off the car, trying to hear for Bella's footsteps. They were quiet, pacing around her room until coming to a stop, her bed springs coiling lightly. She stayed there for a minute, though it seemed much longer. With each second my anxiety grew, my eyes closing to better hear for another movement. I heard the springs loosen and then saw Bella's face through her window. I could breathe again.

The front door opened finally. Bella's cheeks were covered with a natural blush, her smiling breathtaking as she looked at me. I was finally calm as she opened the car door, scooting into her seat with a bag on her lap. Though I knew she was in more danger than ever around me- her blood heated in the summer sun- I was relieved that she was near me now, all anxiety disappearing completely.

"Ready?" I asked, my voice shocking me, more enthusiastic than usual.

"Always" Bella replied, her face the only thing I saw in this instant. The sky was dull next to her dark eyes, the scent of the flowers absolutely nothing to hers, and the warmth of the air freezing compared to her touch.

I slowly reached for that warm, small hand, folding it between my own as I backed out of the driveway. Bella spared one last glace at her house before rolling down the window and letting the air blow through her open fingers.

I drove slower than usual, soaking in this perfect moment. She turned to meet my gaze and blushed once more, opening her hand inside my palm. Bella wove her fingers through mine, squeezing tight, as if afraid to let go.


End file.
